UNDERSTANDING THE IMPORTANCE OF HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF
How do you feel about yourself? Do you generally like who you are and feel confident in your abilities? Or are you your own harshest critic, quick to dwell on your flaws and failures? How we answer these questions reflects our self-esteem—essentially, our opinion of ourselves.
Self-esteem isn’t just about liking what you see in the mirror (although that’s part of it). It’s a sense of your inherent worth as a person. When you have healthy self-esteem, you trust yourself, know you’re capable even if you’re not perfect, and believe you deserve good things in life. Conversely, low self-esteem can leave you feeling like you’ll never measure up like you don’t have much to offer the world.
The state of your self-esteem can color every aspect of your life. It influences how you interact with others, your goals (or don’t set) for yourself, your resilience when things get tough, and your overall mental and emotional well-being. When your self-esteem is strong, it’s like having a trusty compass to navigate life’s ups and downs. But when it’s fragile, it can feel like you’re lost at sea without a life raft.
WHAT CAUSES LOW SELF-ESTEEM?
It’s different for everyone, but often it stems from difficult life experiences. Maybe you were bullied growing up, or you’ve faced discrimination and prejudice. Perhaps you’ve been through a tough breakup or divorce, lost your job, or struggled in school. Even things like chronic health issues, money troubles, or constant pressure to look or act a certain way can gradually chip away at how you see yourself.
Low self-esteem and mental health challenges often go hand-in-hand. Mental health encompasses our emotional, psychological, and social well-being – how we think, feel, and relate to the world around us. When we’re struggling with issues like depression or anxiety, it’s common to have a lot of negative thoughts about ourselves. We might feel hopeless, incompetent, or even worthless. At the same time, having low self-esteem can make it harder to cope with mental health difficulties. It’s like being caught in a vicious cycle.
But here’s the good news: no matter how down you might feel about yourself right now, you have the power to change that narrative. Boosting your self-esteem takes practice and patience, but it is absolutely possible. Here are five strategies to try:
1. Be kind to yourself: Imagine your best friend comes to you feeling really low about themselves. How would you respond? You’d probably listen with empathy, offer encouragement, and maybe even hug them. Now, imagine treating yourself with that same compassion. When you’re having a tough day or you’ve made a mistake, try talking to yourself like you would to a dear friend. Remind yourself that everyone struggles sometimes, and that’s okay.
2. Surround yourself with positivity: The people we spend time with can significantly impact how we feel about ourselves. Seek friends and loved ones who lift you up and appreciate you for who you are. If people in your life constantly criticize or tear you down, it might be time to set some boundaries or reevaluate those relationships. You deserve to be around people who make you feel good about yourself.
3. Celebrate your wins, big and small: We often get so focused on our big, long-term goals that we forget to acknowledge all the little victories along the way. However, research shows that celebrating those small wins can improve our motivation and self-confidence. So, break your big goals down into smaller, manageable steps. Each time you accomplish one, take a moment to pat yourself on the back. Recognizing your progress can help you build momentum and belief in yourself.
4. Rewrite your self-talk: Pay attention to that little voice in your head. Is it constantly pointing out your flaws and mistakes? Try catching those negative thoughts and replacing them with kinder, more encouraging ones. For example, instead of “I’m so bad at this, I’ll never get it right,” try “I’m learning and improving every day.” Positive affirmations like “I am capable” or “I deserve good things” might initially feel awkward, but over time, they can help drown out that inner critic.
5. Curate your social media feed: In today’s digital age, many of us spend much time scrolling through social media. But constantly seeing curated images of other people’s seemingly perfect lives can make us feel like we don’t measure up. If you notice that certain accounts consistently leave you feeling inferior or bad about yourself, don’t be afraid to hit that unfollow button. Instead, fill your feed with content that inspires and uplifts you.
As you start to practice these habits, you might notice a shift not just in how you feel about yourself but also in your relationships. When you value yourself, you’re less likely to bend over backward to please others at your own expense. You’ll feel more comfortable setting boundaries, expressing your needs, and being authentically yourself. You might worry less about being perfect and be more willing to take risks and chase your dreams.
Building self-esteem is a journey, and there will be bumps along the way. But every small step you take to be kinder to yourself, to surround yourself with positivity, and to acknowledge your strengths and successes all matters. With time and practice, you can cultivate a deep sense of self-worth that weathers life’s storms and allows you to flourish. Remember, you are inherently valuable and deserve love and respect from yourself and others. Believe in yourself – because you are worth believing in.
FAQ Section
Q: What exactly is self-esteem, and how is it different from confidence?
A: Self-esteem is your overall opinion of yourself and sense of inherent worth as a person. While confidence relates to belief in your abilities for specific tasks, self-esteem is deeper—it’s trusting yourself, knowing you’re capable even if imperfect, and believing you deserve good things in life.
Q: What are the most common causes of low self-esteem?
A: Low self-esteem often stems from difficult life experiences like bullying, discrimination, tough breakups or divorce, job loss, academic struggles, chronic health issues, financial troubles, or constant pressure to look or act a certain way. These experiences can gradually chip away at how you see yourself.
Q: How are low self-esteem and mental health conditions connected?
A: Low self-esteem and mental health challenges often create a vicious cycle. Mental health issues like depression or anxiety can lead to negative thoughts about yourself, while having low self-esteem makes it harder to cope with mental health difficulties, creating a reinforcing pattern.
Q: What’s the most effective way to start improving my self-esteem?
A: Begin by practicing self-compassion—treat yourself like you would a dear friend. When you make mistakes or have tough days, speak to yourself with kindness rather than criticism. Remember that everyone struggles sometimes, and that’s completely normal and okay.
Q: How can I change negative self-talk patterns?
A: Pay attention to your inner voice and catch negative thoughts, then replace them with kinder, more encouraging ones. Instead of “I’m so bad at this,” try “I’m learning and improving every day.” Positive affirmations like “I am capable” may feel awkward initially, but can help drown out your inner critic over time.
Q: How long does it take to build healthy self-esteem?
A: Building self-esteem is a journey with bumps along the way, but every small step matters. With consistent practice of self-kindness, celebrating small wins, surrounding yourself with positive people, and curating supportive environments, you can cultivate deep self-worth that weathers life’s storms and allows you to flourish.
Ready to Build Stronger Self-Esteem and Self-Worth?
Developing healthy self-esteem takes time and practice, but you don’t have to do it alone. Professional support can help you understand the roots of low self-esteem, develop effective strategies for changing negative thought patterns, and build lasting self-worth.
Dr. Ginny Estupinian, PhD specializes in helping individuals overcome low self-esteem, break negative self-talk cycles, and develop the self-compassion and confidence needed to thrive in relationships and pursue their goals.
📞 Call today: 844-802-6512
🌐 Contact Dr. Estupinian’s office to begin your journey toward stronger self-esteem and a more positive relationship with yourself. Remember, you are inherently valuable and worth believing in.