THE ART OF ADULTING: THRIVING IN YOUNG ADULTHOOD
Adulting: a term that has gained popularity in recent years, often used with a mix of humor and exasperation. But what exactly does it mean? Adulting refers to taking on the responsibilities and challenges associated with being a self-sufficient adult. For many young adults, particularly those in their 20s and early 30s, adulting can feel like a daunting task filled with uncertainty and pressure. As a parent, watching your child navigate this transition can be exciting and challenging as you strive to provide support and guidance while fostering their independence.
From navigating the job market and managing finances to building meaningful relationships and making major life decisions, the transition to adulthood is rarely smooth. It’s common for young adults to experience a range of emotions, including anxiety, self-doubt, and even depression, as they navigate this new terrain. For parents, it can be difficult to know how to support their young adults during this time best, as they balance the desire to protect with the need to encourage growth and self-sufficiency.
However, adulting presents a unique opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery despite the challenges. By developing a positive life narrative, embracing practical strategies, and seeking support when needed, young adults can learn to thrive in the face of adversity and build the skills necessary for a fulfilling and successful life. As a parent, you can play a crucial role in this process by providing emotional support, practical guidance, and a safe space for your young adult to explore their identity and goals.
In this article, we’ll explore the fears and obstacles commonly associated with adulting and practical tips and insights for navigating this transformative life stage. We’ll also discuss the important role that mental health professionals, such as psychologists, can play in providing guidance and support for young adults and their parents.
THE FEARS AND OBSTACLES OF ADULTING
For many young adults, the transition to adulthood is marked by a series of challenges and obstacles that can feel overwhelming at times. One common experience is post-college depression, also known as the “quarter-life crisis”. After the structure and support of the educational system, the sudden lack of direction and the pressure to make major life decisions can lead to feelings of anxiety, sadness, and self-doubt. As a parent, it can be heartbreaking to watch your child struggle with these emotions, and you may feel unsure of how to offer support and guidance best.
In a survey conducted by the American Psychological Association, 91% of adults reported experiencing at least one physical or emotional symptom of stress in the past month, with work and money being the top two sources of stress. The pressure to succeed and establish financial stability can be particularly intense for young adults just starting their careers. Parents may also feel this pressure, as they want to see their children thrive and achieve their goals.
Another major challenge of adulting is the difficulty of adjusting to new roles and responsibilities. Whether it’s managing a household, navigating relationships, or caring for one’s physical and mental health, the sheer number of tasks and decisions can feel daunting. It’s common for young adults to feel like they’re “faking it” or not measuring up to societal expectations of what it means to be a successful adult. As a parent, it’s important to remind your young adult that these feelings are normal and that everyone experiences challenges and setbacks along the way.
However, it’s important to remember that these fears and obstacles are a normal part of adulting. By acknowledging and validating these experiences, young adults can begin to develop the self-awareness and coping strategies necessary to navigate this challenging life stage. Parents can support this process by creating a safe and non-judgmental space for their young adults to express their feelings and concerns and by offering practical guidance and resources when needed.
DEVELOPING A POSITIVE LIFE NARRATIVE
One of the most powerful tools for navigating the challenges of adulting is the ability to develop a positive life narrative. According to research in the field of narrative psychology, the stories we tell ourselves about our experiences shape our sense of identity and well-being. By finding meaning and purpose in our struggles, we can cultivate a sense of resilience and hope. As a parent, you can help your young adult develop a positive life narrative by encouraging them to reflect on their experiences and find lessons and opportunities for growth in even the most challenging situations.
In a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that individuals who were able to construct redemptive life stories—stories that reframe challenges as opportunities for growth and learning—experienced greater well-being and life satisfaction compared to those who focused on the negative aspects of their experiences. This highlights the importance of helping your young adult view setbacks and failures as temporary and as chances for self-discovery and improvement.
Another key aspect of developing a positive life narrative is cultivating a growth mindset. According to psychologist Carol Dweck, individuals with a growth mindset believe their abilities and traits can be developed through hard work and dedication, while those with a fixed mindset view their abilities as static and unchangeable. By embracing a growth mindset, young adults can approach challenges with curiosity and persistence rather than fear and self-doubt. Parents can foster a growth mindset in their young adults by praising effort and progress rather than innate abilities and by modeling a willingness to learn and grow in their own lives.
Developing a positive life narrative takes practice and self-reflection, but the benefits are well worth the effort. By reframing challenges as opportunities for growth and embracing a mindset of continuous learning, young adults can build the resilience and adaptability necessary to thrive in the face of adulting’s many challenges. As a parent, you can support this process by encouraging open and honest communication, providing emotional validation, and helping your young adult identify their strengths and values.
PRACTICAL STRATEGIES FOR NAVIGATING ADULTHOOD
While developing a positive life narrative is an essential foundation for navigating adulthood, it’s equally important to have practical strategies for dealing with adulting’s day-to-day challenges. Here are some tips and insights from psychologists and successful professionals that both young adults and their parents can benefit from:
1. Embrace a growth mindset and willingness to learn. As mentioned earlier, cultivating a growth mindset is critical to approaching challenges with resilience and adaptability. This means being open to new experiences, seeking out learning opportunities, and viewing failures as chances to grow and improve. As Google executive Ben Jones notes, “The most successful people are the ones who are constantly learning and adapting.” Parents can encourage this mindset by sharing their learning experiences and supporting their young adult’s efforts to acquire new skills and knowledge.
2. Build a supportive network of mentors and peers. No one navigates adulthood alone, and having a strong support system can make all the difference. Encourage your young adult to seek out mentors who can offer guidance and advice and to surround themselves with peers who share their values and goals. As a parent, you can also serve as a valuable source of support and guidance while respecting your young adult’s need for autonomy and independence.
3. Set realistic goals and celebrate small victories. Adulting can sometimes feel overwhelming, but breaking down larger goals into smaller, manageable steps can help young adults stay motivated and on track. Encourage your young adult to celebrate their progress along the way, and remind them not to be too hard on themselves when things don’t go as planned. As author and entrepreneur Melissa Ambrosini advises, “Focus on progress, not perfection.”
4. Prioritize self-care and mental health. Amidst the demands of work, relationships, and daily responsibilities, it’s easy for young adults to neglect their own well-being. However, prioritizing self-care is essential for maintaining the energy and resilience needed to navigate adulthood. As a parent, you can model good self-care practices and encourage your young adult to take time for activities that bring them joy and relaxation, set boundaries when necessary, and seek professional help if they’re struggling with mental health issues.
Remember, adulting is a journey, not a destination. By embracing these practical strategies and staying committed to personal growth and development, young adults can build the skills and resilience necessary to thrive in the face of life’s challenges. As a parent, your support, guidance, and unwavering belief in your young adult’s potential can make a difference in their journey towards self-sufficiency and fulfillment.
THE ROLE OF MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS
While the strategies and insights discussed in this article can be powerful tools for navigating adulthood, it’s important to remember that seeking professional help is also a valuable and proactive step. Mental health professionals, such as psychologists, can provide specialized guidance and support to help individuals navigate the challenges of adulting and build the skills necessary for long-term well-being. Working with a mental health professional can also provide parents with valuable insights and strategies for supporting their young adults during this transitional period.
If you’re a young adult in the Los Gatos area seeking support and guidance during the adulting process or a parent looking for ways to support your young adult, I invite you to call my office and get the answers to your questions with no cost or obligation. You will speak with a live person – never voicemail. Together, we can work to help you and your family achieve the self-awareness, resilience, and fulfillment you deserve as you navigate this exciting and challenging life stage.
